こにちわ。　わたし　の　なまえ　わ　カル　です。　わたし　わ　２０　さい　です。

わたし　は　MMU　の　がすけい　です。　そして　にひんご　お　べんきょ　しています　です。

わたし　は　ベリ　に　すみます。　わたし　は　まいにち　でんしゃ　だ　いきます。

マヌチェスタ　わ　たかい　です　そして　おきい　です。

だいがく　わ　むずかし　そして　たのしい　です。

わたし　は　アメリカ　に　かがく　べんきょ　してました　が　わたし　は　さびしい　です。

わたし　は　まいにち　くだもの　そして　さかな　たべます。

わたし　は　まいあす　しんぶん　よにます。

わたし　わ　あにめ　が　すき　です。

これ　わ　がるふれんど　なまえ　わ　ォラ　です。　ォラ　さん　わ　マヌチェスタ　だいがく　の　がすけい　です。　ォラ　わ　かわいい　そして　やさしい　です。

！！
に

Persona 4 makes everything about me hurt.

I started playing Persona 4 last night. This is the best/craziest game I have played this year. Words can't really describe it, but I'll try Giantbomb on Personas:

"Manifestations of a person's inner "self" or psyche. They can also be described as a character's alter ego or their shadow personality. These entities appear as famous and legendary characters in the world of mythology. Tremendous power hidden within each one."

Me on Personas:

Koda, you were the happy dream in a life that's been nothing but a hellish nightmare. says (16:05):
It's just good
but the fusion
oh god
right
you collect persona cards
to summon different ones
but then you can FUSE them into more powerful ones
like...
angel and uzobach into a giant horse thing
Koda, you were the happy dream in a life that's been nothing but a hellish nightmare. says (16:06):
but then you can TRIANGLE fuse
but every time you fuse they get different abilties
and then if its on the right day you get bonus exp
and if you have the correct SOCIAL links it gets more exp
and then I cry in a corner

More descriptions from me:

>Like I wanted to go and dungeon crawl
but then someone wants me to go out for steak
and im like
I CANT NOT DO STEAK
BUT I ONLY HAVE 4 DAYS UNTIL YUKIKO DIES
Koda, you were the happy dream in a life that's been nothing but a hellish nightmare. says (16:03):
WAIT THE WEATHER IS SUNNY SO ITS RAINY IN THE TV WORLD
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


What did I do last night on P4?

Started the game last night, and burnt 6 hours which flew by. Key points:

Nanako singing "Every days great at your junes"
Yosuke: "Arghhh, critcal hit in the nads"
Kou: "Haha, I LOVE THEM BALLS"
Funky Student: "Let me hit you up with another mind riddle ma' brotha'"
Teddy:" Fo'sho"

Basically, this is an awesome game, which I can't recommend enough. Awesome music, it's a hell cheap game and the concepts are great.

Oh, and basically, you can only do a number of things a day. You get a question at school in an attempt ro raise your intellect, then "After school" begins. From here you can either
>Do a dungeon crawl
>Do an after school soccer practise
>Do an after school band practise
>Spend time with someone to raise your social link
>Do part time work
>Use a capsule machine
>Eat tofu

Then it gets to "Evening" which is weird. You can either read a book to incease a stat, sleep and get a random chance to incease social links or....watch the midnight channel.

The best dream so far?
"You dreamt you had a dream where you and Chie wrestled in Luchador masks. You feel closer to Chie, the friendship deepened"

More to follow as I play daily.

SF4 IS SO AWESOME.

PREPARE TO WITNESS THE SAIKYO LEGEND.

Goodnight sweet prince.

We sure have been places.















But now it's over













See you, space cowboy.

Inspiration is awesome.

After talking to a friend just now, I feel inspired to write something, and I guess it's about University

ENGAGE:

So, backstory. Many of you know this is my second year at university, because essentially, I derailed, had an emotional breakdown, and failed my first year. This attributed to, but isn't limited to my horrifying anxiety attacks and the fact that...well I had intense depression during university. I lived on my own, as most people do, but didn't embrace "That student life". I didn't really click with anyone on my course on a mental level, nevermind an intellectual one. Very quickly, I became lethargic, and anxiety got the better of me, as I stopped going in. I know now that this was a bad move, but those of you who have had these "problems", know how hard it can be.

This was a series of characteristics that many times in my life I would look back on in bewilderment and the women I sought after would be nothing like this. In the pain of youth, the misery of my neglect, would manifest itself in many ways; depression - my enemy, fear - my friend, hatred - my lover, and anger - fuel for my fire. These four characteristics of my personality would become the guiding force of my life and would control everything I did or was to become. I shall explain later in the story about them.

Over the summer holidays, despite the fact I worked a lot at a Flower shop, I also had a more underlaying plan. This was to curb my emotions and learn to control how I feel a lot easier. The whole fiasco, basically the Terese saga, which hell, you know about now. Or if you don't- I fell in love with her, and she sort of told me at 4am one night she was with my best friend. Anxiety+Depression+Haloperidol as meds=Not healthy

Regardless, working at the flower shop gave me a lot of personal time to think about my life, and where I was going I suppose. I was relatively mentally unhealthy, this was apparent. In the 8 hours I would work a day, tending to flowers, in the hot summer sun gave me a chance to reflect on myself. At times it became a chilling reflection of my own wretchedness, and my desire to want more.

I soon found out that the only way to TRULY express myself was with my writing, It was a way to vent all my frustrations and all my pain - completely opened all my Four Doors . I know I can write relatively well, good lexis and pragmatical structure. The usual. Regardless, I re-enrolled at university for the year starting 2008. When I got back, I encouraged myself a lot more than I thought was possible. Getting over the Terese thing was hard, some wounds never heal. When you don't have many, if any friends, it becomes hard to truly open yourself to a person, and with this, I didn't know how to react at the end of it. But Hell, adversity makes you stronger, right?

Being back at University became quite the change for me I guess. The lethargy faded, and I became inspired to learn. I don't know what it was, but I felt like I could make it happen. Despite the fact that hardly any people come into lectures and seminars, I don't really care. There's at least one person who challenged and engages me on an intellectual level, being a very clever gentleman, and constantly "Fuelling me on" as it were, with his ideas.

I guess this is enough writing for now. I enjoyed it, writing is fun, and a way to express myself in a way I can't do in a normal setting. Check back soon for..more things.



So long, space cowboys.

Social.

You're told you're social all your life. Humans are social creatures.. Is this the reason we all cling to this notion of social 'normality' in such a way? Can we really not be happy just..being as we are?

Well, no, we can't. Because of comparison.

I always compare myself to images, or pictures, or fucking ideas of fun, and people portrayed as 'party animals' or those who 'live life to the fullest! Yeah! Hi-5!"

Good for you faggot, you bungee jump.

These seconds and minutes continue to pass me by. Hours, even. One more second I spend in my room alone is no less valid a second than any other, or anyone else's.

I know how futile it'd be to interact, because all you have is a face and a voice...is that really enough to trust, to love?

It's logically doubtful, but still we hope. I hope. Why..?

We not only cling to normality, but as a result, reality. This plane of existence isn't any less valid than seconds spent dreaming, but we still love coming back here, to pay our taxes and call Dubai to sort out our bill discrepancies.

Eventually, other people, and my lack of capacity to speak to them won't matter. Nothing will. I birthed this universe by being born, and it'll die with me, to me.

All is a matter of interpretation. Loneliness taught me this, and I believe it'll one day be the ultimate strength.

Why don't girls wear dresses anymore?

I'm not sure I understand the point of sexual liberation in terms of you don't HAVE to wear a skirt, if you're going to end up following whatever trend is in your area anyway, short shorts or jeans.

This is something that annoys me greatly. Girls don't dress "pretty" anymore, they either dress like lazy tomboys or skanks.

I don't like that I'm supposed to be happy about this either. Dresses are easy to put on - all you need is underwear, and you can shove the dress on in one go. It's much easier than buttoning or zipping up tight jeans, etc. If they wanted maximum comfort, looser slightly baggy pants would work better than jeans.

Which gets me, because not only are girls dressing more boring, they outright lie if you question. Jeans and tight tops can not conceptually be more comfortable or easier to put on than a dress. With a dress your legs have a lot more freedom.

Goth girls and hippie girls who are two of the last types to actually wear anything pretty, are being replaced by these tacky emo and "scene" bitches.

I'm just tired of this. I think it's just a visual representation of how "Unpretty" our society has become over the last decade especially.

I don't have a problem with girls that are genuinely tomboys or genuinely don't care about what they wear, but the fact is they're still "dressing up", just in the most mainstream washed out clothes and horrid makeup and fake tan.

Chances are you're only dressing accord to some stupid fashion trend whether you realise it or not.