In a lot of ways, being a healer is a lot like being a parent. You follow an ungrateful, squabbling mass of people throughout their lives, picking them up when they fall down, healing them when they get hurt, and telling them they'll be alright.
They love you, they hate you. They blame you for their mistakes, and take credit for your hard work. They bitch, argue, fight and complain. But you're with them every step of the way. Every insult is ignored, every personal attack is deflected
Why?
Because they're your family. Through thick and thin. better or worse, they're yours. They are your responsiblity, your party. And when the dust settles, the loot is ninja'd, the chat fills with "gg" and everyone logs off, you're alone again.
And you know you did your job, and you did it well. You didn't falter, didn't give up. And long after the party has moved on or forgotten you, you'll be doing the same thing, day after day after day. Because your family needs you, no matter who your family is for that day.
I started playing Persona 4 last night. This is the best/craziest game I have played this year. Words can't really describe it, but I'll tryGiantbomb on Personas:
"Manifestations of a person's inner "self" or psyche. They can also be described as a character's alter ego or their shadow personality. These entities appear as famous and legendary characters in the world of mythology. Tremendous power hidden within each one."
Me on Personas:
Koda, you were the happy dream in a life that's been nothing but a hellish nightmare. says (16:05): It's just good but the fusion oh god right you collect persona cards to summon different ones but then you can FUSE them into more powerful ones like... angel and uzobach into a giant horse thing Koda, you were the happy dream in a life that's been nothing but a hellish nightmare. says (16:06): but then you can TRIANGLE fuse but every time you fuse they get different abilties and then if its on the right day you get bonus exp and if you have the correct SOCIAL links it gets more exp and then I cry in a corner
More descriptions from me:
>Like I wanted to go and dungeon crawl but then someone wants me to go out for steak and im like I CANT NOT DO STEAK BUT I ONLY HAVE 4 DAYS UNTIL YUKIKO DIES Koda, you were the happy dream in a life that's been nothing but a hellish nightmare. says (16:03): WAIT THE WEATHER IS SUNNY SO ITS RAINY IN THE TV WORLD ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
What did I do last night on P4?
Started the game last night, and burnt 6 hours which flew by. Key points:
Nanako singing "Every days great at your junes" Yosuke: "Arghhh, critcal hit in the nads" Kou: "Haha, I LOVE THEM BALLS" Funky Student: "Let me hit you up with another mind riddle ma' brotha'" Teddy:" Fo'sho"
Basically, this is an awesome game, which I can't recommend enough. Awesome music, it's a hell cheap game and the concepts are great.
Oh, and basically, you can only do a number of things a day. You get a question at school in an attempt ro raise your intellect, then "After school" begins. From here you can either >Do a dungeon crawl >Do an after school soccer practise >Do an after school band practise >Spend time with someone to raise your social link >Do part time work >Use a capsule machine >Eat tofu
Then it gets to "Evening" which is weird. You can either read a book to incease a stat, sleep and get a random chance to incease social links or....watch the midnight channel.
The best dream so far? "You dreamt you had a dream where you and Chie wrestled in Luchador masks. You feel closer to Chie, the friendship deepened"
After talking to a friend just now, I feel inspired to write something, and I guess it's about University
ENGAGE:
So, backstory. Many of you know this is my second year at university, because essentially, I derailed, had an emotional breakdown, and failed my first year. This attributed to, but isn't limited to my horrifying anxiety attacks and the fact that...well I had intense depression during university. I lived on my own, as most people do, but didn't embrace "That student life". I didn't really click with anyone on my course on a mental level, nevermind an intellectual one. Very quickly, I became lethargic, and anxiety got the better of me, as I stopped going in. I know now that this was a bad move, but those of you who have had these "problems", know how hard it can be.
This was a series of characteristics that many times in my life I would look back on in bewilderment and the women I sought after would be nothing like this. In the pain of youth, the misery of my neglect, would manifest itself in many ways; depression - my enemy, fear - my friend, hatred - my lover, and anger - fuel for my fire. These four characteristics of my personality would become the guiding force of my life and would control everything I did or was to become. I shall explain later in the story about them.
Over the summer holidays, despite the fact I worked a lot at a Flower shop, I also had a more underlaying plan. This was to curb my emotions and learn to control how I feel a lot easier. The whole fiasco, basically the Terese saga, which hell, you know about now. Or if you don't- I fell in love with her, and she sort of told me at 4am one night she was with my best friend. Anxiety+Depression+Haloperidol as meds=Not healthy
Regardless, working at the flower shop gave me a lot of personal time to think about my life, and where I was going I suppose. I was relatively mentally unhealthy, this was apparent. In the 8 hours I would work a day, tending to flowers, in the hot summer sun gave me a chance to reflect on myself. At times it became a chilling reflection of my own wretchedness, and my desire to want more.
I soon found out that the only way to TRULY express myself was with my writing, It was a way to vent all my frustrations and all my pain - completely opened all my Four Doors . I know I can write relatively well, good lexis and pragmatical structure. The usual. Regardless, I re-enrolled at university for the year starting 2008. When I got back, I encouraged myself a lot more than I thought was possible. Getting over the Terese thing was hard, some wounds never heal. When you don't have many, if any friends, it becomes hard to truly open yourself to a person, and with this, I didn't know how to react at the end of it. But Hell, adversity makes you stronger, right?
Being back at University became quite the change for me I guess. The lethargy faded, and I became inspired to learn. I don't know what it was, but I felt like I could make it happen. Despite the fact that hardly any people come into lectures and seminars, I don't really care. There's at least one person who challenged and engages me on an intellectual level, being a very clever gentleman, and constantly "Fuelling me on" as it were, with his ideas.
I guess this is enough writing for now. I enjoyed it, writing is fun, and a way to express myself in a way I can't do in a normal setting. Check back soon for..more things.
